From Me To Me

Dear Thea,

thea 8th grade


Right now you are probably in middle school trying to figure out life.  You just moved to a new house and none of your friends from elementary school are in any of your classes or your lunch period for that matter. You have also started to be left home alone, and knowing you, exploring is the only thing you want to do. Go ahead and explore, but when you do, just realize there are some things that you may end up finding while you are curiously snooping, that you just don’t and won’t understand for a while.

I am going to spoil something for you, #sorrynotsorry, but you will find your adoption papers. At first, you will think nothing of it, but as time passes and no one is home you will start to read the papers. Let me clarify somethings for you, first, you are loved, you were not abandoned and nothing about your adoption was because of you.

Everything happens for a reason, you ended up with parents who care about you and want you to do well. You will have a birth family who wants to get to know the real you and how you have turned out. You are exactly where you are supposed to be.  The decision for someone to give a child up for adoption is not something they took lightly, even though on paper it would seem so quick.  That is not the case.

Please tell mom exactly how this makes you feel, this is not something you should bottle up and never talk about. You need to get your feelings out now because mom is there to help as best as she can. Do not to hold a grudge against anyone, including both your adoptive parents or birth parents. It’s okay to be open with your adoptive family, you need to be open with them because they have a lot of insight on who you are.

This discovery is something that should not stop you from loving as much and as hard as you do. If anything, this should give you more reason to love with every ounce of you. You love everyone as soon as you meet them, don’t give that up. Continue to love in ways you know that everyone should be loved. Love harder, love longer honestly just love.

Lastly, I want you to be honest with yourself, you are going to need time to think about this so take it. You need to know that talking about adoption is okay, people aren’t going to get annoyed by it, people do care.


An Older Youme


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